Today I am tired,
it wants to be evening.
I am experienced by faith to ask myself
what do I want before dying?
Joy to me is melancholy,
it shelters stagnation,
I want to love new people,
so, the rain wets the earth.
Immense sorrow in peace,
the path of the seven stars,
costly, I prefer it to be that way
let me explain to each and all of you.
Before your path flourishes,
you will already be decrowned,
filled with prejudice,
as far as the eye can see.
Possessed and forgotten
you shall gorge
what it spits,
when your time has come,
there is no more time.
When your path is reached
every journey is too far.
Being alone isn’t better,
(Journal entry 226, 16 April 2019)
Today is a rainy day,
it's cold and wet and overcast with grey.
It's raining too heavy today -
why would you go out there?
It's raining today; water march!
A barrel to hold the rain,
Yes, it's really wet today,
the soil needs nourishment.
It slushes when I walk, it's slowly getting heavy and I don't like these coats at all, I'm covered in sweat from the inside, no matter how colourful it is.
It is happy – and so are you
When you're thirsty you want to drink,
That's why it's raining really, really hard today,
to remind you of it.
All my life it's been raining
and over and over again,
so, you're right, have fun with it,
I'd rather stay inside.
Today is a rainy day, I would like to commemorate it; water, these
are lives, by which we are gifted.
Rain is so wonderful, we all wouldn't be if it
never rained here today, but it's raining hard!
This is also how everything is recharged,
in a very special way,
like everything and as it always has been,
a rain full of insight.
(Journal entry 580, 21 October 2021)
I trust you as I trust my eyes,
you are the assignment in my belly.
Everything was grey, empty and abused,
but I have now overcome my fear.
I believe you, just as I believe my thumb,
you are the author in my head,
a causal breath, like a life in a dream, you give me a running start and support like a tree.
For You, I give everything and give up everything, even accept to never walk again.
I build upon you, each time I use you,
Hardly anyone looks up, look closely.
You are my dew, my male, my female
and you are my acre, my house and my den.
A moment too, not simple, you are clever, you are the meadow, the flowers, the foliage, you are water and air, wind and space too, beside you I am ash and turn to dust.
(Journal entry 462, 29 July 2022)